We are created to relate.

God has made us to be relational beings. It is built within us. Imagine with me if you will, that you are a spectator of creation. You are there in complete and utter darkness when you hear “Light Be” and light was. Then another remarkable statement. God himself rates the creation. He says: “It is good.” As God made each part of creation his analysis was that it is good. And then one day God is looking around and He says “It is not good.” Everything has been made by God and yet there is something that is out of order. Something that is not right. What is it. God says it is not good for man to dwell alone.

“It is not good for man to dwell alone.”
Gen 1:18

God fashioned men and women to be relational beings. In fact God created man out of His own relational make up.

26 Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”
27 So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them. (Gen 1:26-27 NIV)

I believe it was out of the love of the Beloved Trinity that man and woman was created. God being a relational being made men and women and wired them relationally.

Real and Abundant Life flows through good relationships.



9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help.
But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm.
But how can one be warm alone?
12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated,
but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.
Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
(Ecc 4:9-12)


God’s Blessings flow through good relationships.
1 How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony!
2 For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe.
3 Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. And there the Lord has pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting.
Psalm 133 NLT

There are different types of relationships.

With each relationship there are certain responsibilities and certain corresponding privileges.

A crisis will arise if the appropriate responsibilities and privileges are not maintained with each relationship.

Friendship is the basis of all good relationships.

Believe the best.

You might have heard me speak of my friend Bob Cave. He is pastor in OVerland Park Kansas. Bob is one of the great friends in my life. He not only is a good friend but he knows how to be a friend. He has many friends because he knows how to be someone’s friend. I like that about him.

There was a time that I had come under some major accusations. Someone with an evil spirit had leveled a barrage of accusations against me. At that time I called Bob. I needed a friend. I told Bob what I was being accused of and he immediately without any hesitations said, that’s not you Matt. Many others at the time wanted to hear both sides of the story to be fair minded, but Bob was my friend. He believed the best in me from the start.

We can believe the best in someone, and if they are in a tough time we can know that they will come through it. Friends don’t need to analyze each other all of the time. They just believe the best in the other.

A friend loves at all times,
and a brother is born for a time of adversity.
(Proverbs 17:17)

Initiate the friendship.
A man who has friends must himself be friendly,
But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 NKJV

Friendship does not just happen. You must make it happen. To have friends you must make friends. That means you go to them. You take the initiative. Bill Hybels teaches a great principle in his series “Just Walk Across The Room”. He tells of a relationship that a man had in which he friended a muslim into the faith. It started when at a party when one man noticed the man across the room. The man then excused himself from the group that he was in conversation with and walked across the room to the muslim man. Over subsequent weeks they began to get together for breakfast and got to know each other. Eventually the room crosser was able to lead the other one to personal faith in Christ.
Here are a couple of the principals that are taught.
1 It all begins with a walk across the room..
2 You have to leave the comfortable to go into the zone of the unknown.

• Friendship starts with listening.
• The greatest story is that of the one who crossed eternity to be our friend.

Don’t confuse popularity with friendship.

Today’s culture is obsessed with fame, even if it is only 15 minutes worth. People do crazy things hoping to catch it on video and see it go viral on U tube. This thought then might be a little counter cultural, but let’s concentrate on making a big impact on a few rather than a fleeting impact on the masses.

A man of many companions may come to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 ESV

Build up your friend. Encourage your friend. Call out the best in your friend.

It is very common to see friends tease each other. Many times the words are filled with banter. That can be fun, but let me encourage you to be careful to spend more time building your friend up. Friends don’t have to compete against each other.

There are “friends” who destroy each other,
but a real friend sticks closer than a brother
Proverbs 18:24 NLT

Be consistent. Be Faithful. Be Loyal

One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin,
but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Proverbs 18:24 NIV

Loyalty and consistency are important qualities in a good friendship if you ask me. The good friends in my life are people that I know I can count on. They are consistent. They won’t betray me.

At the same time one of the hardest things is to overcome the feeling of being betrayed by a friend. The truth is that in our lives we will all have our John’s like Jesus had John, the beloved. We will all have our Peter’s who even though they let us down they never give up and in the end they are friends to the end. Then we might even have a Judas, the betrayer. The difference between Peter and Judas was that Peter returned and Judas didn’t.

We must be careful that we don’t let the hurt of the betrayal keep us from being a friend to another. It is so easy to obsess on the deep wounds inflicted by the betrayer. But God has a greater mission for us. God has the Peter’s and the John’s that are going to be faithful friends. We need to concentrate more on the friends that remain than the friends we lose.

Each of these different translations tell of a great friend. I amazed by the friendship that we have in Jesus.

9 “I have loved you even as the Father has loved me. Remain in my love.
10 When you obey my commandments, you remain in my love,
just as I obey my Father’s commandments and remain in his love.
11 I have told you these things so that you will be filled with my joy.
Yes, your joy will overflow!
12 This is my commandment: Love each other in the same way I have loved you.
13 There is no greater love than to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.
14 You are my friends if you do what I command.
15 I no longer call you slaves, because a master doesn’t confide in his slaves.
Now you are my friends, since I have told you everything the Father told me.
16 You didn’t choose me. I chose you.
I appointed you to go and produce lasting fruit,
so that the Father will give you whatever you ask for, using my name.
17 This is my command: Love each other.
John 15:9-17

Jesus served as a great example of how to be someone’s friend. But this great friendship is not just a matter of following His example. You can have Jesus as your friend. To know Jesus as a great friend is the only way that you can live as a great friend to another. I pray that today you will have a fresh revelation of Jesus as your friend.